By the time Norma Jeane turned seven in June 1933, she was having a difficult time relating to other
people. She also didn’t get along with children her own age at the Washington Street School she
attended in Hawthorne. Certainly, Lester, the child who’d been adopted by the Bolenders, was an ally.
But as for everyone else, she seemed afraid to know them or didn’t want to play with them. There was
an understandably deep sadness about her. She was shy, withdrawn. However, that said, she had only
become more uncommonly pretty with the passing of the years. With her face so clear and luminous
and her blonde hair seeming somehow aglow—Ida actually washed it in lemon juice for just such an
effect, which suggests that even she was taken by the child’s beauty—little Norma Jeane really was
stunning.
In recent years, Norma Jeane had grown to think of Ida Bolender as her mother. However, Ida would
always disabuse her of that notion. Once it had been clarified that no official adoption would take
place, whenever Norma Jeane referred to Ida as her mother, she was quickly reprimanded. “I’m not
your real mother,” Ida would say very abruptly, “and I don’t want you having people believe
otherwise.” In Marilyn Monroe’s autobiography, she quotes Ida as having told her, “You’re old enough
to know better. I’m not related to you. Your mama’s coming to see you tomorrow. You can call her
mama.” The truth was the truth, as far as Ida was concerned, and she wasn’t the girl’s mother, plain and
simple. The sooner Norma Jeane reconciled herself to that fact of life, the better. Ida was a pragmatic
woman, not usually sentimental. True, she could have been more sensitive, but she was who she was
and she never apologized for it.
It’s been said (by Marilyn, actually) that Norma Jeane was also not allowed to refer to Wayne Bolender
as her father. That’s not true at all. In fact, she called him “Daddy” and did so all of her life. His face
weather-beaten from being outdoors, Wayne had a wide, engaging smile and kind, humor-filled eyes. It
was as if Norma Jeane sensed his empathy for her, because she quickly became very attached to him.
Since he truly believed her circumstances were sad, he went out of his way to be nice. Nancy Jeffrey
recalled, “My mother was definitely the disciplinarian in our family, whereas my father was very quiet
and comforting. I’m sure that’s why Norma Jeane gravitated to him. She was very inquisitive. There
was a stool by the bathtub and I remember that she would sit there and, as he shaved, she would ask
him all sorts of questions.” Marilyn also once recalled, “Which way was east or south? How many
people are there in the world? Why do flowers grow? I had so many questions and Daddy always
seemed to know the answers.”
Unfortunately, Wayne could not offer much assistance to Norma Jeane if Ida was angry at her. Cowed
by his wife, he kept the peace by keeping his mouth shut. If he felt the girl was being treated unfairly,
he wouldn’t like it but neither would he do anything about it. Moreover, if he paid too much attention
to Norma Jeane or any of the other children who passed through the Bo-lender home, Ida would
become annoyed. With her dark eyes blazing, she would lash out at him and accuse him of coddling
them, thereby making them that much more difficult to raise. Then, of course, she would feel badly
about losing her temper and apologize to him hours later.